Do you know what you really want? This will give you a helping hand

Recently we were discussing manifestation and a problem surfaced immediately – How do you know what you really want?

If this is your challenge, the first thing to do, is to allow yourself to play and explore. Think of it this way – nobody needs to know and you are not committing yourself to anything at this point.

Simply allow yourself to have the time and space to creatively explore lots of options. Time could be a matter of weeks or months, or several days. Sometimes people feel that they don’t have the time to take or maybe they are under pressure to make some decision. Often the pressure is an internal stress about not having the time in a busy life.

Nevertheless, even if this is the case, allow yourself a half hour here and there over the space of a few days.

Now set yourself up with an hour of undisturbed time and do one or more of the following:

1) Write a description of your ideal day – what happens, from the time you wake up to when you go to bed. Include your surroundings, who you are with, the things you are doing. Allow your imagination full rein, to be as wild as you like. You may wish to write a few of these on separate occasions, to test them out, if you like, and compare them when they are done.

2) Describe your ideal life / ideal day etc. out loud to a supportive, positive friend. Get them to agree up front to just listen to you, in a positive and supportive way, and the only things they are allowed to say are open questions asking for more details.

You’ll find that as you describe it, the dream becomes more real to you, details fill in and you start to think about the possibilities in more practical detail. You may wish to stop and make brief notes, while you are speaking, of actions you can take to fill in gaps, find out things you need to know etc.

3) Write out a Wish List of all the things you know you want, under 3 columns. For example, someone looking for a new job might list:

Live with this list a while, add to it, compare jobs, in this case, with your list for easy decision-making, add to them, do follow up work, which could be clearing blocks and fears, if any have arisen that stand in your way, or researching options and ideas that interest you.

4) Gather loads of different sorts of glossy magazines, an A3 sheet of paper (or larger), gum paste and scissors. This is a great one to do with friends, so why not make an afternoon of it! Put on some music, take the phone off the hook. Chat about anything else you like while doing this, or do it in silence, but do it quite fast and unconsciously, i.e. without conscious thought. Leaf through the magazines cutting out photos, words and phrases representing your ideal life or the specific area you are focusing on.

I have carried out this exercise a number of times, with people on my Transform Your Life series of courses. One time, a lady wanted to sell up her shop and flat and move across country to be nearer her daughter and grandchildren. She gathered pictures of the kind of bungalow, garden and conservatory she wanted and added words like easy, fun and relaxing, which was how she wanted the process to be.

This exercise can also be done for specifics. For example, one lady wanted to lose weight and she cut out the ideal figure from a magazine and put a photo of her own head on top. She cut out lots of photos of the sorts of healthy, delicious foods she wants to eat, and exercise, gym, pampering places for beauty treatments, massage, sauna etc.) she was going to reward herself with along the way.

When you have your picture you’ll have
• Made the dream more real
• Checked how you feel about it – the ecology of your dream

You may notice thoughts, fears, objections arising during these processes – that’s a good thing, as once you are aware of them, you can either adjust your goals or do something to address and clear any fears or blocks.

Once your collage picture is ready, take a break. If with friends, you could have tea, coffee and cookies together, and chat about something else. Then come back to the pictures and tell each other about them. Look and discover for yourself all the details that are there.

Afterwards, whenever you are totally happy with your picture, sign and date it and put it up somewhere prominent in your home, where you’ll pass it and see it every day.

Next steps

Whichever of these methods, or a combination of them, you use, you will end up with clearer ideas about what you really want and need. You’ll also know where you need to do further research and where you can start to take action.

You may also be surprised as opportunities turn up and things start to change, before you’ve even ‘officially finished deciding’ what you want to manifest.

Susanna Bellini is the author of Transform Your Life in Seven Days and co-author of Goal Mastery